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Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
@mattybtweets69 What if it was a slow-burning allegory for grief
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Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Barber: so what’re we doing today?
Me: Whatever, just watch the cow lick though
Barber: Yes it’s very amusing b… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Me: Whatever, just watch the cow lick though
Barber: Yes it’s very amusing b… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
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Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Pilot: Apologies folks, flight’s been delayed due to a guy on the wing
Me: *looking out at wing*
Guy:🧍️
Pilot… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Me: *looking out at wing*
Guy:🧍️
Pilot… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
gentle giant: i am going to pick you up and put you in the pan now, alright?
me: (caked in flour and spice) alright then
me: (caked in flour and spice) alright then
Retweet of status by @god_brane
Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Carl Sagan: *seeing my son is more dense than water* That kid must be made of star stuff
Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Boss: *plucking the mote from my hand* it’s less than a speck
Me: *plucking it back* no more than a fleck…
🫴… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Me: *plucking it back* no more than a fleck…
🫴… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
@Daggerlad2 that that that that dont kill me
only makes me smaller🧎️
only makes me smaller🧎️
Retweet of status by @god_brane
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Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Me: mind if I light up?
Date: I’m green friendly ;)
Me: weird name *holding my lighter up to a marshmallow*
Date: I’m green friendly ;)
Me: weird name *holding my lighter up to a marshmallow*
Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Me: Welcome to the pearly gates
Dead Guy: wow, thank you
Me: 1st thing to know- it’s not illegal to steal a de… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Dead Guy: wow, thank you
Me: 1st thing to know- it’s not illegal to steal a de… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Me: *watching two men dance toward me* Woah, think I’m seein double
Twin 1: Hi, I’m Fish!
Twin 2: And I’m Chip… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Twin 1: Hi, I’m Fish!
Twin 2: And I’m Chip… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Daggerlad
@Daggerlad2
Me: H-hello? Is someone there?
The Wes Anderson Strangler: Give me your neck 🧍️
The Wes Anderson Strangler: Give me your neck 🧍️
...but wait! There's more!
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fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
