34.
FLATTLINER
@Flattliner
Speed limits are:
A good idea
Sometimes Ok
A vague guide
Applicable to others
The rancid jism of Satan’s totalitarian cock
A good idea
Sometimes Ok
A vague guide
Applicable to others
The rancid jism of Satan’s totalitarian cock
35.
FLATTLINER
@Flattliner
I regard over-tweeting as a crime, but I’ll let you get away with it if I love your stuff…
For a little while
For a little while
36.
37.
38.
39.
40.
ᖴᒪᗩTTᒪIᑎEᖇ
@Flattliner
This might be hard for you to hear,
<turns shower on full>
but,
<whispers>
I ufg@£ e#^*s jBh yu;…
<turns shower on full>
but,
<whispers>
I ufg@£ e#^*s jBh yu;…
ᖴᒪᗩTTᒪIᑎEᖇ
@Flattliner
@Flattliner
༼༽࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂༼༽
#gratitude
༼༽࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂࿂༼༽
#gratitude
Retweet of status by @C0pper_King
ᖴᒪᗩTTᒪIᑎEᖇ
@Flattliner
I know how this sounds, but I’ve been crunching survey data for 48hr and I’ve succeeded…
In making it…
Sexy
N.B. If you’re autistic xx
In making it…
Sexy
N.B. If you’re autistic xx
Flattliner
@Flattliner
Reliving my late twenties vicariously, in thousands, via Favstar.fm.
Thanks for 28K stars people, will hit my actual age at this rate...
Thanks for 28K stars people, will hit my actual age at this rate...
Flattliner
@Flattliner
In Val d'Isère.
Ski hire & lift passes sorted.
In hotel with tiny rooms.
WiFi sorted.
In bar around the corner.
Beer kitty sorted.
Ski hire & lift passes sorted.
In hotel with tiny rooms.
WiFi sorted.
In bar around the corner.
Beer kitty sorted.
41.
42.
43.
44.
Flattliner
@Flattliner
Cumquats are the rudest fruits. If proof is required, simply lock eyes with your least favourite parent or boss and intone:
“Cum Quat”
“Cum Quat”
Flattliner
@Flattliner
I dreamt that Twitter became infected with a virus that spread from user to user, causing us all to bleed from every orifice…
More cheese
More cheese
Flattliner
@Flattliner
What is that feeling? It itches but doesn’t hurt, invisible in the mirror… “If thine eye offend thee, pluck…”
Oh hold on, it’s a cat hair
Oh hold on, it’s a cat hair
Flattliner
@Flattliner
Happy 4th July America. You’ve ruined our language, sold us trillions of dollars worth of arms and caused the 2008 crash…
Independence!
Independence!
...but wait! There's more!
34.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
