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Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
When you have a professional manicure and realise what a poor job you've been doing all this time pic.twitter.com/UcV1DJrh05
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Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary owns #GrandNational winner #RuleTheWorld. Bet he charged the jockey extra for a seat!
Retweet of status by @tonysheps
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Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
Just had the most delish caramel pecan cake from #Greggs
Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
I miss your face @Sakesfamily @ClaireChapman95
Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
Can't wait for #Empire to start in the UK this Tuesday so I can watch the entire series again
Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
Embarrassing to call some exes your ex .
Retweet of status by @ItsFrrankOcean
Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
When you suspect a colleague has been cutting their own hair
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Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
Announcer at #SloaneSquare tube station sounds like Michael Caine
Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
I'm so rubbish at taking antibiotics!
Clare Xylophone
@clarebearmartin
So.......for Xmas I got a cold! Thanks Santa
...but wait! There's more!
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fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
