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ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
I found the sea salt hidden in my daughter’s room, and when confronted, she admitted she’s working on a potion to turn into a mermaid
Retweet of status by @MomOnFire
13.
ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
Keep the nudes; show me your social conscience.
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
This may be the quarantine talking, but Jack is quite a handsome squirrel. twitter.com/NationalZoo/st…
Retweet of status by @BossyBritches72
ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
I am:
a man
a woman
Bono
Looking for:
a man
a woman
The same goddamn thing for 32 years
a man
a woman
Bono
Looking for:
a man
a woman
The same goddamn thing for 32 years
Retweet of status by @Home_Halfway
ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
@TweetsByTheTony I needed this today. It’s made me laugh and laugh and feel very much like a Michelin Chef
Retweet of status by @FiliaFiliaFilia
ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
I highly recommend befriending amazing, ambitious women because their amazingness rubs off on you and makes you feel superhuman
Retweet of status by @hayley_chewins
ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
SHE WAS RIGHT ABOUT DEPLORABLES
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
DJ Khalid screamed his name at me on my way into work today and now I owe him 90% of my next paycheck.
ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
I used to worry about being good at foreplay until I realized it is mostly about helping her complete a Starbucks Star Dash.
Retweet of status by @MichaelTrying
ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™
@TweetsByTheTony
Just heard someone say she’d “completely done a 360” because she’s gone from decorating all in black and gray to decorating all in white.
Retweet of status by @HeSlimedMeRay
...but wait! There's more!
12.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
