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derek
@eedrk
Giving myself diarrhea so I get to use up all the toilet paper before my roommate does
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derek
@eedrk
if i was a viking invading a christian village in the year 870 i would just pillage. i wouldn't do the other thing
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derek
@eedrk
Watch "TRUTHPOINT"
with @dril and me
+ guest expert @necrobranson
streaming live tonight
9 PST / 12 EST
adultswim.com/streams/
with @dril and me
+ guest expert @necrobranson
streaming live tonight
9 PST / 12 EST
adultswim.com/streams/
derek
@eedrk
As soon as something happens that im mad about i'll be ready to bust this one out pic.twitter.com/rGg47jnLif
derek
@eedrk
as a society with rising housing costs and stagnant wages we need to STOP making fun of guys who live with their mβ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/1β¦
derek
@eedrk
i love to trip and hit my head on a curb and brain damage the exact part of my brain that gave me anxiety
derek
@eedrk
hot people aren't so scary when you're peering down at them from a ledge
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derek
@eedrk
when you die it shod say on your gravestone if you had sex. just a checkmark would suffice
derek
@eedrk
I just want to say, that if there were a female serial killer I would be brave enough to call her hot
derek
@eedrk
VIRGINS if you wanna convince people you have sex just use these phrases
"bro her igloo was full of air pocketsβ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/9β¦
"bro her igloo was full of air pocketsβ¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/9β¦
derek
@eedrk
commercials through time
1995:
"please sir may I have some more?"
More??... (huge grin)Yes! at Bread Buffet!
200β¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/9β¦
1995:
"please sir may I have some more?"
More??... (huge grin)Yes! at Bread Buffet!
200β¦ twitter.com/i/web/status/9β¦
...but wait! There's more!
1.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
