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Phlegm Clandango
@Cain_Unable
Wow, she doesn't look the type does she? pic.twitter.com/IYKtMlMQMI
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Phlegm Clowndango
@Cain_Unable
This Hallowe’en I’m going as that time you unfollowed someone, then blamed it on a #TwitterGlitch when they confronted you about it.
Retweet of status by @F41rygirl
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Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
Pls RT. pic.twitter.com/R7S5q1sYTK
Retweet of status by @perrigame
Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
I have also requested that on my death my hard drive is crushed under a steamroller.
Because of all the *coughs* unfinished novels. Yes.
Because of all the *coughs* unfinished novels. Yes.
Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
Sorry, my account was hacked.
Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
I planned to spend yesterday watching Bridesmaids in my onesie but the Groom told me I was spoiling the wedding & creeping everyone out.
Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
<Baby crying>
Wife to 4yo: "Can you get the dummy please?"
4yo: "Yes Mummy. DAAAAD! Mummy wants you."
Wife to 4yo: "Can you get the dummy please?"
4yo: "Yes Mummy. DAAAAD! Mummy wants you."
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Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
I just put my weekend down for like one second & now I can't find it anywhere.
Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
I'm not saying my children are *always* badly behaved but the school has just fined me for not taking them on holiday during term time.
Retweet of status by @Cain_Unable
Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
I've just been standing completely naked in front of a massive fan. He doesn't seem to be that much of a fan any more though.
Phlegm Clandango❄
@Cain_Unable
Don't worry if you're not a fan of #NewTwitter. Rest assured my tweets will continue to be unfunny, unoriginal pathetic cries for help.
...but wait! There's more!
23.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
