56.
Cain Unable
@Cain_Unable
I saw a BMW X5 that didn't have a personalised number plate today. I'm not easily shocked or anything but, nothing prepares you for that.
57.
Cain Unable
@Cain_Unable
Despite everything, my smile is going to be utterly infectious today. Bloody cold sores.
58.
59.
60.
61.
62.
Namey McNamename
@Cain_Unable
The landlord say your rent is late? He may have to litigate? Don't Worry, Be Happy!
Bobby McFerrin sacked after 1 day at Citizen's Advice
Bobby McFerrin sacked after 1 day at Citizen's Advice
Phlegm Cl nd ng
@Cain_Unable
I thought the last episode of Game of Thrones was really dark. Like, the darkest one yet, by far.
Turns out I hadn't turned the TV on.
Turns out I hadn't turned the TV on.
Phlegm Clandango
@Cain_Unable
People who *say* that they hate going to IKEA but who still go there regularly are suffering from Stock Home syndrome.
EyeCatchingHeadline
@Cain_Unable
*iPhone6 as my new work phone face*
EyeCatchingHeadline
@Cain_Unable
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
Because your webcam password's "Cake"
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
Because your webcam password's "Cake"
63.
64.
EyeCatchingHeadline
@Cain_Unable
Just tried out some self-deprecating humour. Turns out I'm fucking awesome at it.
EyeCatchingHeadline
@Cain_Unable
You might be uncool but you'll never be "Forget you're wearing glasses when taking off a jumper meaning you get stuck inside it" uncool.
...but wait! There's more!
56.
fakhright
@fakhright
astaghfirullah peng.krim guaaaaaaaa..............a *salto sambil solat*
